So here I am trying to grip on the writing once I loved to do. I am going through such a weird phase of my life and its funny because it doesn't feel like that I am living my own life. It is quite good believe me it is quite better than what it was but you know that darkest black fear sits in the corner of your heart and comes out in the silent moments when no one notices and lurks around me,sneering telling me I can't possibly make a safe escape from this life. Dread , anticipation it sits right next to me all the time. I need to do a lot of things and I am working on this part. I want to jump ten years from now and see what's there in store for me whether I am even here or not.