26th August 2006

And I was losing hope..
I was choking on my own breathe
and was thinking of different ways to kill myself when God suddenly looked at me and gave me a gift
I wiped my tears and looked towards God baffled...He spoke to me
This is your gift
Your redemption of every sorrow you have ever felt
Your comfort for all those restless nights when you wished not to feel alone
Your care-taker for all those times when people pushed you away and you needed only a little consideration
The missing part of your soul which you always yearned for
The understanding which you used to consider unreal
Your miracle in which you had lost your faith
she is your gift...completion to your being:)
yes its been one year now and I have earned so much this year that I cant even begin to thank my God..AllahYou gave me the best gift!
everything seems worthwhile now
thanks yara for your love,care and patience for me
Without you I can't even imagine my life now because I dont ever want to get back to what I used to be..
I love everything about you
from your locks of hair under ur ears to your genuine smile
from the white glow of your feet to the understanding looks
from the deepness of your eyes to the gentle touch of your hand
from the beauty of your face to the purity and angelic nature of your soul
My understanding and love pills will be working for you always...I have got a lifetime supply for you :)
love you yara
seriously you told me the true meaning of friendship and what it is to love someone unconditionally:)
*HUGS*

disappear

Can I just disappear for a while?...
Will you let me be invisible when I want to hide away?
Or this time too..it will be your will...your desire..your options...YOU?

Heart is stupid
It hopes
clings to hope
and then hurts..
fucking hurts..

You are the one to blame
But heart is stupid
It takes blame on itself


and the only one keeping me sane...I need you....hate anger & helplessness filling up...
I love you so much....
sigh....

It IS hurting...


Hoobastank--disappear
There's a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that you leave
Though I try to look away
The pain it still remains
Only leaving when you're next to me

Do you know that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

So I stand and look around
Distracted by the sounds
Of everyone and everything I see
And I search through every face
Without a single trace
Of the person
The person that I need

Do you know that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

Can you make them disappear
Make them disappear,

There's a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that you leave
Gonna search through every face
Without a single trace
Of the person
The person that I need

Do you know that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

Listening to "iris" today I thought and wished I could tell you who I am...
I wished you could see the pain in my eyes and the changing expression of my face..
Instead of grumbling about what you think and that only you are right
You could hear what I am silently screaming at you to stop it for just once stop doing it...only once you could get the message behind my cold words..

But I know that how I am invisible to you and this reality can't be changed..

there is a sadness in her smile...not the one which was always there but something different this time
there is fear behind her talks
fear of unknown
fear of knowing.....and knowing the reality as much as it can choke and make you go numb after feeling it...
We share souls
Its the fear of fallbacks
tears of longing...


Life is a bittersweet...forcing to accept the present
giving the orders "stay strong or I will crush you..."
Its insanely perfect
everything will be ok..
It will but
the hurt will be there....You can stay strong,be alive,fulfill all your responsibilities but you can't help feel sadness in times of silence..
when there will be darkness of night...
moon will be shining its white light...
and thoughts will set in...
nights when you will be confused
whether to feel happy for the memories
or to have the feeling of missing

Missing will win most of the time
thats the biggest fear..

just a week...

I guess the picture speaks itself I dont have to say anything to further explain it.

*silence*

peaceful for some time just feel safe secure
without any nightmares
no racing heartbeats
no chases
no fears
no shivering
no longing
just peace....

RESSSSUUUULLLTTTT!!!!! just hours to go!

:S

:)

Still after rough times a But remains to make it all ok..

But the twinkle of her sad eyes....

The innocence of her smile....

The serene calming words....

The gentle touch in my hair....

The understanding look of her deep-set eyes....

Everything about her is mesmerizing....

yet she thinks she is nobody
But her presence is the only thing making me feel complete....

Ugh
Time is flying
august is here
8 days to go
and 22 days to go

here are some qoutes and lyrics stuff from http://www.opendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=D394109

We are all just waiting for someone to save us.. someone to say they care enough to hold us up when we're falling down. Someone to wipe the tears from our eyes. Someone to notice us when we start to blend in.

You're one of the only things that keeps me strong throughout the day, that keeps me strong when the happiness starts to fade away..

No matter how hard we try to ignore it or try to deny it eventually the lies fall away, whether we like it or not. But here's the truth about the truth-- it hurts. So, we lie.
-Grey's Anatomy

I've learned that goodbyes will always hurt, pictures never replace having been there memories. Good or bad will bring tears and words can never replace feelings. But it's times like these when you have to tell yourself everything's alright.

Don't tell me how life is
Cause I really don't want to know
Don't tell me how this game ends
Cause we'll just see how it goes
3 Doors Down