Sunday, December 27, 2009

Give me back my feelings.
Even if they were a pile of hurt with pain dripping down on its side and scattered fears near it.
I want it all back.
Its better to feel something than nothing at all.
Let me believe I am still alive.
Let me be certain or at least pretty sure enough.

Monday, November 23, 2009


So tell me when you hear my heart stop,
You’re the only who knows
Tell me when you hear my silence
There’s a possibility
I wouldn’t know

Tell me when my sigh is over
You’re the reason why I’m close
Tell me when you hear me falling
There's a possibility
It wouldn’t show

Possibility-lykke li

Friday, November 20, 2009

Tagged by Siras

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. If I tagged you, its because I want to know more about you.

I was tagged by siras :)

this is a tough one God twenty-five facts lets see if i can come up with em!

1.I need to multitask all the time to keep my mind at rest.I text,chat,watch movie,read,listen to songs,eat all at the same time.

2.I hate people who smell bad.

3.The first thing I notice about anyone is their shoes and feet.

4.I try to avoid eye contact while making conversations they make me uncomfortable.

5.I play with my hair while I am studying.

6.I hate summers and rains. Sometimes i like rain but depends on my mood.

7.I have got an eccentric choice of music from old indian songs to trance. I can like anything and nothing at the same time.

8.I love to talk to myself and for few moments I do before going to bed and go through the whole day in my head.

9.I don't like to spend apart from on shoes and books it gives me guilt pangs otherwise.

10.Coldplay-trouble and Snow Patrol-run have been my most most favourite songs.

11.Grey's anatomy is not a show it is life for me.

12.I like to be around people and listen to them,people-watching is my favorite pass-time.

13.I aint a sporty person.

14.My most favorite book is "million little pieces"

15.The movie I like the most is "The pianist"

16.More than anything I love getting handmade gifts and love giving em too.

17.I am scared of almost all kinds of rides rollercoasters etc are not my thing.

18.I don't really like icecreams.

19.I wish to learn few more languages in my life.

20.Paintings are good but I like to work in black and white. These two colors hold more meaning to me than any other color.

21.If I get a chance I would like to make a pyschiatric organisation for women,children and adolescents in my region.

22.I like the person I am with others but I wish I treated myself better.

23.I don't like to sleep it seems wastage of time to me.

24.I can choose to be very strong or extremely sensitive I change.

25.Lastly, I hate to talk about myself..this was hard tag:S

I also tag everyone who is there in my blogroll.

Award :)

It would be infact my first award :) thankyou so much Sunakshi
Thank whoever gave this to you
2. Copy award
3. Post it in your blog
4. Tell us 7 things that your readers don’t know
5. Link 7 new bloggers
6. Notify winners of the award with a comment on their blog
7. Most of all - Keep being awesome!

Seven things about me:
1.I love black and blue colour
2.I hate lizards
3.I am pathetic at singing and dancing
4.I am a perfectionist so i don't even try things which I might think i am not good at
5.I treat myself with chocolates when I am down :$
6.I love getting foot massages
7.I hate summers

I pass this award to

Kadri Luik
The Ragpicker
Ubaid Ullah Ahmed

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


Louder than you can hear
silence that haunts the soul
slaves of blackness that entwines minds
fine threads
fragile thoughts
icy presence
hard and dry
to the core
carved out of stone
wearing out
empty filled with hollow

Monday, October 12, 2009

glistening droplets
silhouettes made of smoke
words become meaningless once they remain unsaid
emotions change to scars
locked up hearts
blocked minds

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Person I am

picture by:KAY
p.s I apologize for my blog being so dead. Blame the Prof exams.I'll be back by end of October.

Sunday, September 13, 2009


Time changes a lot of things in us. We learn to move ahead and adjust with everything around us and sometimes even start to like it for a change. Life gets busy you run with it to catch up and be numb by the speed of it.For a while the thought comes that maybe yes you are okay with this pace and you are finally being the part of the crowd but for some it isn't true there are constant fork in the road to remind you of what you really are and the chains of restrictions around.

Self-doubt is a killer thing it makes you push away sometimes the best opportunities and also take some wrong decisions.

Heart is meant to be made of stone and locked up until somebody tries to open it for you.

Frou Frou- Flicks
And I'm motioning still they stand inside me
And moments until the one i leave

People concertina to my private magic lantern move for me
With the senses all inclusive
In the theatre of triggered memories

Thursday, August 13, 2009


What if I let you go...what will be left behind? I know the I just want to fill up the emptiness? will you follow me? will you?

Too many pieces to fix..

Sunday, August 9, 2009

I wish i could be a cat :( :( mine rest and sleep all day!! I want that luxury too! this PROF is getting on my nerves :@

Monday, August 3, 2009

Saturday, August 1, 2009

I am here for my sanity

the moments in which the heart crumbles down
all the hope fades to black
you just want to curl up in a ball on cold floor and cry
just an assurance
or a word or two
tell you that you are not wrong
not always wrong
the heart stops to bleed when it is broken all the time
the mind loses its sanity when its always in a fight against itself

is there an end to hate?
Can anybody stop it?
Hold her and tell her to love?
Tell something good
Give something to hold on to
You are not wrong...You are not wrong...*echoes*

I need my sanity back..! if you could see through these clouds
I am here for my sanity..
I am here for my sanity..
I am here for my sanity..

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

million little droplets..million little pieces

hole to crawl into

soul to search

life to end

Saturday, July 25, 2009


I am tired. My mind is fucked up. I have so much to do. So much work pressure.I can't feel a thing.I hate myself. Ugly and fat.I hate rain. I don't want to move. I want to pray.I think I am a bitch.blah

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

let go

let it sail away in the waters of conscience

grip it back and lock it in the boxes of logic

turn back and walk away from the visions of illusion

step your feet onto the stairs of reality and move ahead

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Friday, July 10, 2009


today is the day a princess was born
who rules on our hearts

HAPPY BIRTHDAY my lil sis :)

you make my life all worthwhile
thanks for all the ways
intentional and unintentional
to make me crack up with laughter

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


lets try and fly away from this place
we dont belong here
we dont belong here
let me take you where you have got wings
and a smile in your eyes
where you are YOU and nobody else
lets fly away

Monday, July 6, 2009

No matter how hard we try
the shadows keep on haunting
sometimes its impossible to undo

You can patch up the broken parts and nobody seems to notice but only the person who have put it back-ninteen minutes

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Some Postsecrets I liked


We all live our lives for others..for people who matter..for whom we exist..
No matter how hard it deep you fall in..and hit hard on the ground..there is a time for rising up..
No matter how much ignoring we do..there is a part of us who always knew the truth and makes us get up again..makes you want to survive for the people you love..part of you totally aware of all the loss and how much redemption to be done..

Its been too long now..I have scared you enough..hurt you enough..the time is coming for me to rise up and protect you now!..I will..<3

Friday, June 26, 2009


To tell and make this easier for myself..or make it even more harder?

the little things that apparently may not even be visible
they are the crushed glass on which I walk everyday
like paper cuts..bruised..

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

it was a HARD sketch! God all the creases!
Myheart is playing tricks with me..creating an illusion for me..painting it in vivid colours...but I am not allowed..yes I am not..I wish somebody could take all this out of me and assort it all for me what to think what to do..hate it..

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

life is ridiculous
it's really hot here
run run
vacations to come


Sunday, May 24, 2009

she is smoke

words that don't carry any meaning
pain that has no end
life trickles down through her hands
every day is an old day just like before just like tomorrow like yesterday..
strings of heart twined well..tightened up where they were meant to be left loose
and these are just words
this is just a face made of flesh and bones
beneath the soul decays
decays and crumbles down everyday
fears take hold
change to shapes
dreams become nightmares
hopes fade away
ambitions fall behind
steps taken
moving ahead yet pulled behind
this is what meant to be...
she is a smoke left after the burning
she is the ashes after the fire

RESCUED-Jack mannequin
But when it's quiet
Does she hear me?

Jettisoned to the center of the storm

And I'm thinking
I'd prefer not to be rescued

And Oh, I can feel her

She's dying just to keep me cold
And I'm finally numb
So please don't get me rescued


And it's unclear

But this may be my last
I can tell

She's raising hell
To give to me

She got me warm
So please don't get me rescued

And oh say you'll miss me

One last time

And I'll be strong

Whatever you do

Please don't get me rescued

'Cause I'm feeling like

I might need to be near you
And I feel alright

So please don't get me rescued

Sunday, May 10, 2009


GOD I have stage on wednesday!!!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

mind riddles

Honey trickling down with the golden light shining through its sliding layers.
Thick and viscous.

Orange brown like the sun shining through light brown eyes.

A glimpse of the mist inside the maze.
Tiny little smoke particles making random flickering shiny dots.
Sharp-edged sometime cause paper-cuts with deep reds oozing out.

The war which are lost and won.
Sorrows not sad enough.

Wrapped inside the heart-shaped boxes of remorse.
Shimmering patterns of lies on the covers.

Brown husky moths on the inside trapped.
Velvet purples of the evening pains flowing through silver pipes diamond-studded.

A white canvas with invisible colors.
Mind riddles.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

It is tormenting like hell to harbor hate and love at the same time for a person in your heart.

Why do You like to place me at the breaking point,at the borderline always?
To tell You the truth
seriously I am losing my sanity and my soul at the cost of it so please stop this rollercoaster life for me!

Monday, April 20, 2009


Blink Blink

Here she sits and stares

Life has different colours

Emotions have shades too

Today I am a mix of purple and deep sea green

Maybe it’s beyond any understanding

Standing..air fluttering

A longing deep intense longing

Images in the rearview


dark maroon color

And then the gray mist




Sky blue

What we all want is crystal clear clarity in everything

But relations they are always some kind of magic a mystery

Hard to interpret yet impossible to be without them

Dirty green

*deep breathe*