now this a babble and i really dont want lectures in answer to all this i wud appreciate that u dont comment if you have any advice cuz advices wise words are the last thing i want right now!
I am under great pressure and feeling too much and at the same time completely numb and indifferent to people around me that must be hurting for them but right now I am in a battle with my mind and various kinds of thoughts and a good old frnd a creation of my mind and surroundings has returned and somehow it feels good with him it feels safe and it helps my listless and infected soul to be at peace for a while I feel that this is where i have always belonged and have returned to where i had begun..huh..success...not at all..a complete failure but m kinda liking it cuz I am sick and tired of trying to be the perfect plastic girl no i am not that I am not an angel and fucking dont u dare use any good words for me cuz thats not going to be good in ur interest I guess i shouldnt even allow comments for this post cuz the way my chemicals are working nowadays it can be disastrous for many..well I got rejection letter from aku and just by 1% i dint made it but i know it had God's plan cuz even if i wud have been selectd i wudnt be allowed to go there but even for that got scolded for no reason at all..parents and their mentality
sometimes i just wish i cud build huge massive walls around me and just isolate myself from every living creature but that again not possible notice the missing of any use of punctuations this is what i want no rules no restrictions no realities no values right now to cut it short i simply want to fucking disappear