I dint get the chili mili I am very sad about it :'( I want the jelly!!!! :'( I dont care if it is very childish to ask :( I want chili mili!!! *bawling*

kashmakash..

I feel like it was Your way to create an escape for me and allow me the freedom to grow out of everything.
But when I think this I feel guilty.
I feel so tired and just weird I long for something I can't understand and comprehend.

So I stumble home at night
Like I've stumbled through my life
With ghosts and visions in my sight
We are always living in twilight

the weepies-living in twilight

ironic life bits

Are you ok?
yes I think I am stable..

didn't expect to get motivation from words of a stranger thanks a lot!
d gypsy! :)

"…and I wish I can tell you and make you understand that success is never an easy affair. Not always a fair decision would happen, not always it would be in your stride, not always there would be a failure to make you understand that things shouldn’t be like that!

But there would be chances and there would be hopes, there would be reasons to live on and there would be people to love.

When "supermen" are a distant dream, being a "human" is all it takes! "

great words beautiful acts
fake smiles
pretentious masks
smothering facades
sand slipping through your hands
broken..

I am a paranoid lunatic emotional bitch.

I wish I die or I never existed.

I had enough of this life.
Ya Ya life a gift blah blah
I don't have the
strength
motivation
urge
desire
reason to move on and just live.



it hurts to breathe
I feel very alone

I am not your star or angel.

I feel like shutting down this blog for a while or maybe for a longer time. Don't know really I might
whatever.

dodging looks.
trickles.

deep dark pit.
a yellow leaf falling down.
a tear rolls down

Cute cat

isn't she so damn cute :D

urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhh!!!
I kept searching for ways to type in urdu but cudnt :@
urgghh kill this net :"@

blink.

blink.
tick toc.

days weeks words cuts

your ruling habits
my seething anger

ok fine you rule the world but I am telling you I am not a part of that world

my time will come soon
He has a better plan for me than you think
lies
red white lies
hate you


ps.all the commentors I DON'T want any lecture over happiness!

found it! :P

I was longing to find my long lost blog of which I had forgotten the url :$ :P
at last I found it and it was funny yet painful reading it..well I have found this old post of mine which I would like to share
I don't know who wrote it

aKhlaaq na bartenge mudaawaa na karenge
ab hAm kisi shaKhs ki paravaah na karenge
kuch log kaii lafz galat bol rahe hain
isalaah magar ham bhi ab isalaah na karenge
kam-goii k ek vasf-e-himaaqat hai bahar toU
kam-goii ko apanaayenge chahakaa na karenge
ab sahal pasandi ko banaayenge vatiiraa
taa der kisi baab meIn sochaa na karenge
Gussaa bhi hai tahaziib-e-ta'lluq ka talabgaar
ham chhup hain bahre baiYhe hain Gussaa na karenge
kal raat bahut ghuur kiyaa hai so ham
tay kar ke uthe hain k tamannaa na karenge

I am sad. Never mind.
Magrib azaan always fills me with sadness.
grainy grey picture of life
dont bother
blah.

hope

From the blog My life as a Muslim

this is for you! I think you will get what I wanted to say to you read it calmly understanding the words!

Your words, your dreams, and your thoughts have the

power to create conditions in your life

What you speak about, you can bring about.

If you keep saying you can’t stand your job,

you might lose your job.

If you keep saying you can’t stand your body,

your body can become sick.

If you keep saying you can’t stand your car,

your car could be stolen or just stop operating.

If you keep saying you’re always broke, guess what?

You’ll always be broke.

If you keep saying you can’t trust a man or trust a woman,

you will always find someone in your life to hurt and betray you.

If you keep saying you can’t find a job,

you will remain unemployed.

If you keep saying you can’t find someone

to love you or believe in you,

our very thoughts will attract more

experiences to confirm your beliefs.

Turn your thoughts and conversations around to be more positive

and power packed with faith, hope, love and action

Don’t be afraid to believe that you can

have what you want and deserve.

Watch your ‘Thoughts,’

they become words;

Watch your ‘Words,’

they become actions;

Watch your ‘Actions,’

they become habits;

Watch your ‘Habits,’

they become character;

Watch your ‘Character’,

for it becomes your ‘Destiny’

So…….To prevent any obstacles…….

GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY!

Enjoy every minute you live!!

:)

the little things you do they give my happy tears
the way you smile at me makes me feel like on cloud no.9
randomly when you call me lizu it feels like I am princess of this world
you rock my world :)

I will give up on you only when life will give up on me!

aab tak tou na kundan hue na rakh hue
hum apni aag mein har roz jal ke dekhte hain
-Farz

Words of Marina


maybe you can someday understand it..
Thinking of you so much borders on 'not acceptable'.
I dreamt of you last night.
I woke up to see your name flash up on my cellphone and I smiled.
There is too much pain in you for me to let it go by unnoticed. If I could look into your eyes, I would see the possibility of the warmth and innocence you would have embodied, if you hadn't been hurt like this. If I could watch you, I would see buried flashes of it when you speak to the elderly, hold babies, feel the pain of the ill.
Since you're not here, I'll search for you in the faces of people I see.
True eyes and glorious smile.
If I promise you not to hurt you, you won't believe it and I might not be able to keep it. But I can promise you I'll try my damned hardest.
Never forget you're beautiful. Not a failure, not what people say you are, not what you see in the mirror. Just plain ol' beautiful. Inside and out, through and through.

Tag-Top most gratifications

I was tagged by exquisite :)


1st-my cellphone I am kind of person who msgs all day and can't sleep properly if my cell is not right near my pillow..though I am changing it but for right now k790i is my life :P




2nd-my sketch ka saman :)




3rd-my cats they are like my family from top left-shonu,bilo rani aka brownie, monu and bibal :)


ps.Aina as you might argue why I dint mention you so the reason is you come above all of them and I can't compare you with cats or cell phone :P

I tag timsal and aina :)

mein ne uski parastish ki jise khuda ban-na na aya...

I had it I am done with it now..

blow away the pain...

I am a mess without you

Exploding Dog 2008

Changes-3 doors down

I'm not supposed to be scared of anything
But I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted
And nobody understands (how I feel)
I'm trying hard to breathe now
But there's no air in my lungs
There's no one here to talk to
And the pain inside is making me numb
Try to hold this under control,
You can't help me, cause no one knows


Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes

Feelin' weak and weary
Walkin' through the world alone
Everything they say every word of it
Cuts me to the bone, (and I bleed)
I've got something to say
But now I've got nowhere to turn
It feels like I've been buried
Underneath all the weight of the world
I try to hold this under control,
They can't help me, cause no one knows


Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes

I'm blind and shakin', bound and breakin'
I hope I'll make it, through all these changes


maybe it says something..i feel like a stranger under my own skin..like a third person watching it all go round and round spinning around me..
feel the edge of it..the enemy inside you
maybe you can't see it maybe my sins have blocked it all out
it hurts but it feels good
that's the only thing right now it hurts and it's right...*laughs*

EID MUBARIK
addition of picture on order of aina :P